


I am Enough

by alwayshere_sone



Series: You&Me [1]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Babies, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-28 02:31:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20771072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwayshere_sone/pseuds/alwayshere_sone
Summary: Minhyuk finding out the meaning behind Sanha's tattoo.





	I am Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Warning : bad words and self-harm. Please return if you feel uncomfortable reading those. Thank you!!

Two years into their dating, Minhyuk finally got the courage to ask Sanha the meaning of his tattoo.

Words “I am enough” can be seen on Sanha’s collarbone. Sanha got it once he became an adult, even before they knew each other. Jinwoo was a close elder friend to Sanha and Jinwoo once told Minhyuk that the quote holds a special meaning for Sanha. When Minhyuk asked for the meaning, Jinwoo couldn’t tell him because he himself doesn’t know it.

Minhyuk doesn’t want to press Sanha to tell him the story so he waited Sanha to tell him by himself. But the curiosity got to Minhyuk during one of their frequent mini cuddle session.

They both doesn’t have class on that particular day so they decided to just stay in bed instead of going out. Waking up next to each other just feel great when Minhyuk leans in to give Sanha a morning kiss (a few). Their cute kisses turns into a mini make out session. Minhyuk travels down to Sanha’s neck, giving a few kisses before going to Sanha’s collarbone. He left a kiss on Sanha’s tattoo before blurting out, “Sanha, what does this tattoo means?”

Minhyuk felt Sanha freeze. “I’m sorry, Sanha. You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.” Minhyuk kiss Sanha’s temple before hugging him into his chest. Sanha loosen up and curl up into Minhyuk. It was a complete silence before Minhyuk heard Sanha speaking.

“I got it to remind myself that I’m okay and enough.”

“Did anything happened?”

“It happened when I was an elementary kid. I used to go to my maternal grandmother’s house during the day with my siblings because my parents were working. I wasn’t sure how and why it started but it just happened.”  
\-----  
_“What’s this smell? Oh my god, I’m going to vomit.”_

_Sanha just stepped into the house when he heard it. Not wanting to hear more, he left the house to wash his legs at the hose outside his grandmother’s house. He doesn’t want this. He never asked for this. His parents brought him to many doctors before the last one said, “Dyshidrotic eczema, a condition which causes intense itching and blisters.” He washes his feet hard, with soaps. More and more. Scrubbing harder, the blisters started to bleed again. It doesn’t even feel pain anymore._

_After making sure the blood dried off, he entered the house. Putting down his school bag, another insult was thrown to him. “Oh shit, I better wear shoes before I got his disease. So disgusting.” The past month him would cry but now, tears are nowhere to be found. He remembered his mother’s word, “Just hold on. She’s your family.” He felt like dying._

_Holding on, he went to get some food. He was hungry after a whole day in school. “Is the elephant going to eat? Why is it even hungry? You are so big and fat. You don’t need any food. Give it to your brother and sister instead. Look at them, they are so slim, pretty and handsome. Unlike you.” That hurts. What hurts even more is his siblings just continue eating, without batting an eye on him. Leaving food, he decided to take a bath instead._  
_ He couldn’t help but notice how fat he is. He need to get on diet. Then it started._

_Starving himself, he loses many weight and became unrecognizable. He thought that if he become thin, people will like him. He won’t have to hear hurtful words anymore. He will be loved._

_He eats but he forces himself to vomit after eating. He feels good. But the insults didn’t stop. World became unbearable to him and he fell into depression. His grades fall and he felt like a failure._

_“You should be dead by now. Why are you even alive?”_

_“You must be adopted. Why are you so ugly when your siblings are so beautiful.”_

_He felt he should die. He would be better dead. People would be happier if he dead. He cuts, blood flows. Strangely, he doesn’t feel any pain. He felt pleasure instead. “You should’ve died when I fell down from the stairs with you in my womb.” He suddenly remembered the most painful words he heard. From his mother. He drops the blade and fell to the floor, crying._

_Growing up, he gets the courage to ask his mother to let him stay alone at home. Staying alone at home distant him more from the outside world. He like it better. No one disturbs him and he felt better. (He wasn’t.)_

_His scars got more and it’s getting harder to hide it. His sister saw his wounds and told it to his mother. His mother cried, asking why he did it. He tearfully explained what happened. He thought everything will be okay. Even though his mother said hurtful things to him before, it hurts to see his mother cry. He promised that he will try to stop hurting himself. He stopped, but the insults doesn’t. He gave up._

_All he hopes is to leave for university as soon as possible. His exam results was average but he managed to get into a university, two hours from his house. Jinwoo approached him during the orientation day after seeing him sitting alone. He then learns that Jinwoo has a boyfriend named Myungjun._  
_ He even befriended Dongmin and Bin with the help of Jinwoo. That’s why he’s so grateful to Jinwoo. Jinwoo helped him a lot in university, along with Myungjun. Both of them are practically inseparable. Sanha wanted a relationship like Jinwoo and Myungjun (they call themselves MyungJin) but he knew he won’t even get into a relationship._

_During the second semester, Minhyuk started to talk to Sanha. They were in same classes but never talked. That’s when his life took a complete turn._  
\-----  
“You made feel like I’m alive and I want be okay and alive. I’ve been a better person after getting together with you but I couldn’t help the nightmares sometimes.”

Minhyuk finally know the story of his nightmares. Sanha frequently have nightmares even though the younger one said that it decreased after sharing the same bed with Minhyuk. Sanha always jolt up crying after woke up from his nightmare, worrying Minhyuk but Sanha always insisted that it’s nothing to worry.

Minhyuk wiped Sanha’s tears and hugged him tighter to his chest. “I’m so proud of you, baby.” Not giving Sanha a chance to question it, he continued,

“You are such a great person. You went through it all by yourself. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be any help to you.”

“As if. You helped me the most. I got lesser nightmares and wanted to be a better person after meeting you. You made my life brighter and it’s full of colours now. I love you.” Sanha pushes himself from Minhyuk’s chest to take a look at the elder’s face.

“I love you too, baby.”

Minhyuk leans down to give Sanha a full kiss on lips. Sanha returns the kiss, feeling grateful that Minhyuk still loves him even though he’s full of flaws.  
They broke the kiss and Minhyuk kiss Sanha’s temple. “Sleep, baby. I’ll be right next to you.”

Sanha fell asleep in Minhyuk’s arms, peacefully. Embracing Sanha, Minhyuk vows to protect Sanha as long as he’s alive. He doesn’t want Sanha to be in pain anymore. Sanha don’t deserve it.

“You’re more than enough, baby.” Minhyuk whispered out before falling asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! It's my first time writing Socky so I hope you all will like it. It's highly inspired by a true story. Hope you all enjoy reading it!!


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